40 Funny 60th Birthday Jokes and Quotes

Updated August 3, 2022
Senior woman getting small birthday cake from friends for her 60th birthday

Turning 60 doesn't have to be a serious affair, and while it might be tempting to write a sentimental note in a birthday card, there are too many funny 60th birthday jokes and quotes out there to not share one or two of them on the special day. Approaching 60 with humor can make the day a little bit easier, and even more fun. 60th birthday jokes are a recipe for an instant smile, which is beneficial at any age. Thankfully, humor comes in all shapes and sizes so the funny things to say to someone turning 60 are endless. Now, get ready to take your sexagenarian humor game to the next level with these witty and well-planned jokes, quotes, and one-liners.

Funny Jokes About Turning 60

Birthdays can be the perfect opportunity to take another crack at that stand-up set you didn't quite get right as the maid-of-honor or best man all those years ago, especially on birthdays that fall in-between the big ticket years (21, 30, 50, etc). After all, once you're past the big 5-0, you can treat every following birthday like a punchline of its own. For a little harmless fun, here are some 60th birthday one-liners you and the late-middle agers in your life will be retelling at your weekly brunch date for weeks to come. Share these 60th birthday jokes to make the best of the big day by bringing on the laughter.

Senior woman peering over her eyeglasses
  • You start getting carded again, but now cashiers want to see your senior card to make sure you're old enough to qualify for the discount.
  • You save a ton of money on shampoo, not because of your senior discount, but because you now have too little hair to bother with it.
  • You no longer need a spoon to stir the creamer in your coffee. You just pour the milk in and let your shaky hand do the job.
  • You start wondering who that old woman/man is looking in your window and realize you're standing in front of the mirror.
  • Pop rocks and Rice Krispies are a thing of the past when your 60-year-old joints have all the snap, crackle, and pop that you need.
  • You used to make fun of adult diaper commercials, and now you're clipping coupons for them "just in case."
  • You go from wearing bifocals to wearing trifocals.
  • Have you submitted your papers to the AKC? Cause those liver spots are starting to make you look like a Dalmatian!
  • How excited are you to turn 60? I've heard it was one of the coolest decades ever!

Funny 60th Birthday Quotes and Sayings

Although everyone experiences aging, there's nothing like the post-middle-age milestones to get you feeling a little melancholic. However, whipping out a few funny 60th birthday quotes at the party can be the perfect remedy. At the end of the day, laughter is the world's best medicine. So, to take the cruel mistress that is aging in stride, humor yourself and those around you with these funny sayings about turning 60:

  • It's time that you finally admit that those "character lines" are really just wrinkles.
  • The phrase zero to 60 means your life is flashing before your eyes.
  • Before that birthday hits, invest in a multipack set of lighters. You'll run out of fluid before you can light all five-dozen candles on your cake with just one.
  • Don't let your 60th birthday get you down…it'll take a forklift to get you back up.
  • Instead of adding blueberries to your cornflakes, you just sprinkle them with your morning medications.
  • Break out your bikinis because 60 is the new sexy.
  • Trying to remember what you wanted to wish for leaves the candles burning on your cake long enough to set off the smoke detector.
  • You remember back to when you used to need a booster seat at restaurants and realize that now you could use one to see over the dash on your car.
  • With how popular gray hair is with teens nowadays, your grandkids will be super jealous that your silvery hue is all natural.
  • Don't feel bad about turning 60, at least none of your teenage mistakes are immortalized on the internet.
  • Beware! Your carefully saved nest egg has flown the coop.
  • When I turned 50, I told myself that at least I wasn't 60. Now that I'm 60, I just wish I could go back to 50.

Short Funny Things to Say for Someone's 60th Birthday

Sometimes all you need is something short to bring on the laughter. These brief sayings about turning 60 add to the humor of the birthday celebration without wasting words. Time is getting more precious these days, so why not share a funny message on someone's 60th birthday that gets the hilarity across in just a short phrase? Share these quotes and sayings in a card, text, on social media, or over the phone with a friend or family member that's ready to say hello to the big 6-0.

Senior woman with gray hair looking away
  • 60 looks so good on you... it's twice what you were at 30.
  • Now that you're 60, everything you say sounds wise.
  • Just think about how young 60 will seem when you're 70!
  • Happy 60th! The clothes you wore when you were younger are finally back in style.
  • 60's not so bad. Remember the 60s were the Golden Era!
  • Your body may have aged, but you're still as immature as ever.
  • 60 means you're just as attractive as ever... just with a few more grey hairs.
  • Turning 60 just means getting your way more often.
  • People will now respect you just because of your age.
  • 60 is just the numeric equivalent for aging well.
  • 60 means being carefree… just a little more forgetful.
  • You can't regret what you can't remember.
  • 60 is beauty. Vintage beauty.
  • 60 means embracing the good life. And more naps.
  • Turning 60 is just a new chapter in a long book.
  • 60 means seeing the world differently… through glasses.
  • 60 is like a great meal. Well-seasoned.
  • Turning 60 is like reliving your 20s. Three times.
  • More people turning 60 means more laughter in the world.

Keep It Light to Laugh About Turning 60

Most people can take some good-natured ribbing about their age as long as it's cleverly done. One or two jokes about a 60th birthday are usually enough to elicit a few laughs. While you don't want to take away anyone's spotlight, these funny 60th birthday jokes are too good to pass up. And if you feel like the roast might be going a bit too far, take a sip of your own medicine, and turn the good-natured teasing on yourself.

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40 Funny 60th Birthday Jokes and Quotes