How to Have Better Sex for Seniors

Updated January 10, 2019
senior couple embracing in bed

Senior sex can still be an enjoyable part of life. Understanding the changing needs of your maturing body will help you look at sexual intimacy in a whole new light, not to mention help you relate better to your partner as both of you age and both of your needs and desires evolve.

Truth About Senior Sex

Although you might assume that sexual intimacy fades into the background as you enter your senior years, this isn't necessarily the case. Sex is an enjoyable and vital part of the lives of many adults over the age of 55.

Preparing For Sexual Intimacy

While the old spark may not present itself as immediately as it used to, you can still plan an evening of intimacy filled with emotional and physical desire. The fact is, now that the needs of family and work are not so prominent, there is a lot more time to devote to strengthening your emotional and sexual bonds with your partner.

Making an Effort

When you look at it this way, putting more of your energies into intimacy makes perfect sense. According to the Mayo Clinic, as detailed below, both men and women experience changes as they age and can do several things to maintain their sexual health.

Sex for Senior Women

The changes brought on by menopause can affect a woman's sexuality in many ways. A drop in a woman's estrogen level affects the way her body responds to sexual stimulation.

  • Lubrication may become more difficult to achieve naturally.
  • The vagina may become less flexible, causing pain during intercourse.

Solutions for Decreased Lubrication

Using an artificial lubricant is an easy way to increase sexual comfort and enjoyment. Engaging in sex more often will also help condition your body to respond comfortably. Think of yourself as a sexual athlete in training, and you get the idea.

You can also consult your physician if you have lingering difficulties enjoying intercourse.

Sex for Seniors for Men

Testosterone levels tend to drop as men grow older, making it more difficult to achieve and sustain an erection.

  • Changing your usual position may make lovemaking easier.
  • You might also try an erectile aid recommended by your physician. Viagra, vascular surgery and other aids may be helpful, depending on your physical health.

It is essential to talk to a physician before using any medications to enhance your sexual performance. An overall health history will help your doctor decide what will work best for your individual needs.

How Side Effects of Medications Affect Senior Sex

It's a fact that many seniors develop health problems as they age that require the use of various medications to help manage conditions such as arthritis, heart disease, diabetes, etc.

Medications and Sexual Performance

Many of these medications have side effects that can impact sexual performance. If you notice a significant drop in sexual desire or performance when you take a particular medication, talk about it with your doctor. There's a possibility that a change in your meds might also help you get back to a more normal level of sexual function. Rely on your physician's professional expertise for help in this area.

Sex for Seniors Tips for Everyone

There are several ways to ignite the spark in your sex life. Keep these tips in mind if you're hoping to improve the sexual intimacy in your life.

Good Communication Is Key

Talking is an important way of connecting with your partner on an emotional/mental level, and vital for connecting on a physical level as well.

  • Don't be afraid to discuss your sexual needs with your loved one.
  • Be specific about what you want without being aggressive.
  • Be responsive to your partner's needs, desires, and concerns.

You may be pleasantly surprised by the response you get. Also, keep in mind that it takes two to tango. Everyone is more apt to feel physical desire when they feel appreciated as a whole person.

It's Never Too Late to Learn Something New

If you haven't been particularly adventurous in the past, now is a great time to try something new. Something as simple as a new location or position can add amazing spice to your senior sex life. Just be careful to consider any physical limitations you or your partner might have.

Staying in Shape

Our bodies change quite a bit as they grow older, so retaining a measure of physical fitness is important for enjoying a healthy sex life. Moderate exercise and eating right will go a long way toward helping you stay sexually functional well into your senior years.

Senior woman running for exercise

Mental Health

Don't forget about your mental health as well. Participating in activities that you find stimulating and enjoyable will keep your mind active and help stave off conditions such as depression, which can take a devastating toll on your sex life.

Throw Out Your Old Play Book

No matter what your sex life was like when you were younger, you need to approach your senior sex life according to how you feel now. If sex in the evening was your old pattern, you might consider engaging in intimacy with your partner in the mornings when both of you are fresh and rested.

Frequency of Sex

There's also no rule about how many times you should have sex in a given period. So what if you used to make love five nights a week? One or two encounters of really good sex are better than five mediocre interludes; it's all a matter of perspective and enjoying each opportunity that presents itself.

Pay Attention

Being a senior does not automatically mean giving up your sex life; everyone needs to feel loved and wanted. By paying attention to the changing needs of your body, as well as those of your partner, you can enjoy a terrific sex life for many years to come!

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How to Have Better Sex for Seniors