8 Funny Retirement Quotes to Crack You Up
Uses for Funny Retirement Quotes
If you're planning a retirement party or a fun retirement gift, you must have a collection of funny retirement quotes.
There are a variety of ways to use quotes:
- In your toast at the party
- In a roast
- Printed on top of a cake
- Engraved on a picture frame
- Written in a greeting card
Retirement quotes fall into a few categories. Here are some of LoveToKnow's favorites.
Jokes About Work Performance
"When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to tell the difference." --Virginia Graham
Poor Wife Jokes
"A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job." --Ella Harris
Jokes About Money Woes
"Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money." --Jonathan Clements
Golf!
"Golf is played by 20 million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun." --Jim Bishop
Forever Young
"Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. When I was 65, I still had pimples." --George Burns
Long Suffering Wives
"When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income." --Chi Chi Rodriguez
Enjoying Life
"If I'd known that retirement was going to be this good I'd have done it the day after I left school." --Mickey White
Circle of Life
"It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man." --Scott Elledge
For more fun information about retirement, read:
