Dating for Senior Citizens

Concerns Regarding Dating for Senior Citizens

There are many different areas of concern seniors have when thinking about dating again. These fears might range from not being sure how the dating scene has changed to worries over finances and how a potential marriage might affect pensions or Social Security.

How to Date

For many, dating for senior citizens is scary because they were married for many years and have not dated. It is normal to wonder if dating has changed dramatically, or if you'll remember how to date. The most important factor is that you should set your own rules. Don't worry about how others date, but focus on what you feel comfortable with. If your rule has always been that you don't kiss on the first date, then don't worry about whether or not it's "old school". Age should, at the very least, earn you the right to set some comfortable boundaries.

Here are some tips that many choose to go by when dating:

• Only date one person at a time, or be very upfront that you are dating others
• Only meet in public places until you know the other person well
• Go out in groups of couples, as this will help keep the conversation flowing and reduce potential awkwardness
• Dating for senior citizens should include activities you enjoy

Some seniors enjoy the structure of senior dating services, which allows you to meet a variety of people under the same pretense. While these organizations charge for services and events, many individuals consider the process safe and efficient.

Income Worries

Many widows receive a pension or other income from a deceased husband. Marriage can sometimes make you ineligible for this pension. You may be concerned that dating will lead to deeper feelings, and be concerned about releasing that pension. Quite honestly, seniors do have to be smart about finances. Here are some tips for gathering the information you'll need to make a wise decision in this area:

• Contact the pension provider and ask for a written list of rules.
• Consult an attorney or retirement specialist to help explain your options.
• Consider if your Social Security will be reduced.
• Will your new, combined income be more or less than what you receive currently?
• What happens if your new husband dies before you?

Although it is important to gather all the facts, sometimes you have to follow your heart and work the finances out. Many senior citizens enjoy active, part-time jobs for this very reason.

Senior Sex

Dating for senior citizens is a topic that brings up the "S" word. Many older folks feel uncertain about sex with a new person. The question also arises as to whether one should have sex outside of marriage. Again, the rule is: you make the rules that best suit you.

However, if you do choose to have intercourse, you should use protection. Age is not a preventative for sexually-transmitted diseases.

Although some seniors experience a reduction in sex drive, this is a topic that you may want to discuss with the person you are dating, or planning to marry. An honest discussion of expectations can prevent misunderstandings down the road.

What Will the Kids Think

One worry is whether grown children will accept someone new in their lives. This will depend upon the personality of the children and the new significant other. The best thing to do is to introduce the new man or woman in your life to your family and let them begin interacting. Daughters and sons can sometimes worry that the new man or woman is trying to replace a mother or father. Reassure the children that this is not the case.

Time will tell whether the family is going to mesh well. Although the kids' feelings should be considered, do remember that they no longer live at home. Your happiness is probably important to them, and if you express that this new person makes you happy, they are likely to learn to accept him or her in their lives.

Take a deep breath and enjoy the process of dating again. There are movies to see, park paths to stroll and hands to hold.